we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What drink are we having for lunch?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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