If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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