I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
