Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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