i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
