plz talk dirty to me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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