He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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