its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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