So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
