Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
