is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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