I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
