found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
