u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
