My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
