hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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