he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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