I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
