Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
