he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
