Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
