Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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