I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
two words: eviction party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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