Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
