we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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