your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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