i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
