i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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