Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
