she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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