Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
