I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
