i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
