shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
