Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
