I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
