Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
