i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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