I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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