Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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