is your mom at the bar?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
