I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
