dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
