Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
