oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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