He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
