...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
