The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
