At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
