home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
